Documenting Mike Smithson's Intellectual Decline Since 2023
TO DEMENTIA
AND BEYOND
"D'oh." — Mike, eventually
BREAKING: MIKE SMITHSON WRONG AGAIN, SOURCES CONFIRM • MIKE DOUBLES DOWN ON INCORRECT STATEMENT • LOCAL MAN REFUSES TO GOOGLE IT • MIKE SMITHSON CONFIDENTLY INCORRECT FOR 3RD TIME THIS WEEK • EXPERTS BAFFLED: HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW THIS • MIKE SEEN ARGUING WITH A WIKIPEDIA PAGE • SOURCES: MIKE HAS NEVER BEEN RIGHT ABOUT SPORTS • MIKE SMITHSON INVENTS NEW FACTS, NATION MOURNS • UPDATE: MIKE STILL HASN'T APOLOGIZED • MIKE EXPLAINS THING HE CLEARLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND • DEVELOPING: MIKE DOUBLES DOWN AGAIN • MIKE SMITHSON CITES 'A GUY HE KNOWS' AS SOURCE • WITNESS: MIKE SAID IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE • MIKE SMITHSON WRONG ABOUT GOLF, AGAIN, STILL • REPORT: MIKE'S CONFIDENCE INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO ACCURACY • MIKE SMITHSON DISCOVERS FACEBOOK, WORLD SUFFERS • BREAKING: MIKE ARGUES WITH SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS • MIKE SMITHSON EXPLAINS HISTORY, HISTORIANS WEEP • LOCAL MAN CERTAIN THE REFS WERE WRONG • MIKE SMITHSON SEEN POINTING AT MENU LIKE AN EXPERT • BREAKING: MIKE SMITHSON WRONG AGAIN, SOURCES CONFIRM • MIKE DOUBLES DOWN ON INCORRECT STATEMENT • LOCAL MAN REFUSES TO GOOGLE IT • MIKE SMITHSON CONFIDENTLY INCORRECT FOR 3RD TIME THIS WEEK • EXPERTS BAFFLED: HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW THIS • MIKE SEEN ARGUING WITH A WIKIPEDIA PAGE • SOURCES: MIKE HAS NEVER BEEN RIGHT ABOUT SPORTS • MIKE SMITHSON INVENTS NEW FACTS, NATION MOURNS • UPDATE: MIKE STILL HASN'T APOLOGIZED • MIKE EXPLAINS THING HE CLEARLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND • DEVELOPING: MIKE DOUBLES DOWN AGAIN • MIKE SMITHSON CITES 'A GUY HE KNOWS' AS SOURCE • WITNESS: MIKE SAID IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE • MIKE SMITHSON WRONG ABOUT GOLF, AGAIN, STILL • REPORT: MIKE'S CONFIDENCE INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO ACCURACY • MIKE SMITHSON DISCOVERS FACEBOOK, WORLD SUFFERS • BREAKING: MIKE ARGUES WITH SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS • MIKE SMITHSON EXPLAINS HISTORY, HISTORIANS WEEP • LOCAL MAN CERTAIN THE REFS WERE WRONG • MIKE SMITHSON SEEN POINTING AT MENU LIKE AN EXPERT •
3Times Mike Was Wrong
0This Month's Damage
3This Year's Damage
SportsFavorite Delusion
MIKE'S EST. IQ
91
Early signs of chronic wrongness detected.
MIKE'S HALL OF SHAME
MIKE'S PERMANENT RECORD
📋
#3
Pure Uncut MikeClassic Mike
May 5, 2026
MIKE SMITHSON APPLAUDS YOUTH PASTOR'S WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE OVERSHARING
Mike thinks a youth pastor named Hugo telling adolescents that he has a porn addiction is normal.
The Verdict: Mike thinks teenagers need to hear about Hugo's porn problem because nothing says 'relatable youth ministry' like boundary-free TMI sessions.
Vibes with: 📋 Michael Scott
📋
#1
Armchair GMSports Expert (He's Not)
May 4, 2026
MIKE SMITHSON SCOUTS 5-WIN SOFTBALL TEAM LIKE THEY'RE GOING PRO
Thinks a scouting report for a 5 win high school girl's softball team is "helpful"
The Verdict: Mike's treating a last-place high school softball team like the Yankees farm system—pure Michael Scott energy.
Vibes with: 📋 Michael Scott
📋
#2
Armchair GMSports Expert (He's Not)
May 4, 2026
MIKE SMITHSON TREATS REC LEAGUE TENNIS LIKE NAVY SEAL MISSION
Mike scouts his tennis opponent to help his doubles team be competitive.
The Verdict: Mike's scouting his recreational doubles opponent like it's Wimbledon instead of just admitting he can't return a serve.